The Panz

Exhale.

2010-11-18T10:26:00.000-05:00

So there's been a lot going on lately. All of which I think is for the best. I usually don't make difficult decisions if I don't think they're the right thing to do. Never is it my intention to hurt anyone, but sometimes you can't help it. Just as when you clean your bedroom - things get messier before they get cleaner.

I have no doubt that we'll smile together in the future once again, but the goal for now is to just exhale.

Italy

2009-12-21T18:33:00.004-05:00

It all started a few months back when I was presented with three options for my Christmas vacation. The first option was to spend it alone in Tilburg. Ney. Not a legitimate option. The second option was to go to Scotland. WOW. I would love to go. And then the third option I was presented with was to go to Italy. Guess what I chose.

Don't get me wrong, I will make it to Scotland one day soon, but I just couldn't resist the pull of Italy, the land of extra virgin olive oil and a really big boot.

Today started with a worried night yesterday. The Netherlands and Belgium have had some intense snow storms which knocked out the trains and cancelled a ton of flights yesterday. Needless to say we were worried about today. After deciding to take a train that would give us eight hours to get to the airport that was only 3.5 hours away, I went to bed at 3am. After a few hours of sleep I woke up fairly early to learn that a part of the train tracks in the Netherlands was not running trains through, so we would have to go an alternative route which would get us to the train station in a little less than 4 hours. Problem number one.

My Italian friend and I met at the train station and took the train to Brussels. We had to transfer 2 times. The trains were just about on schedule. From Brussels we took a crowded coach bus to the airport which was about an hour away. RyanAir likes to have airports far so that customers have to work to get there. It seems to be a common theme with that company.

After arriving at the airport three hours (or more) early, we waited. And waited. And waited. The screen that displayed all of the flight information never seemed to show our flight to Venice-Treviso. We asked and were told that the flight was a half hour late. Okay, whatever that's cool. It's not like the world owes me anything so what's the point in feeling down about a little delay...right? Well that half hour delay turned into an hour and a half delay. Always attempting to stay positive, I just smiled and continued to people-watch.

It was dark out by the time we boarded the plane and finally took off. Flying time to Italy was estimated to be an hour and twenty minutes. Awesome! That's soooo fast. I could never fly to Italy in an hour twenty from the States. Anyway, about an hour into the flight the pilot came over the intercom and annouced that we were circling the Venice-Treviso airport waiting for the snow to clear. He said it would be another 50 minutes until we can land as long as the plane doesn't run out of fuel. That was reassuring. We waited and waited in our little seats, hoping for mother nature to pull through. A flight attendant came down the aisle and talked to a neighboring passenger, telling her that we might have to land in an alternative airport if the weather doesn't clear up. Oye Vey.

Finally I feel my ears pop and realized that we were descending. Cool. I watched in awe (as I always do from my seat behind the wing on the right side of the plane) as those multi-million dollar wings flexed their muscles and stretched toward the Earth, allowing the air resistance to push the tail up and the nose down. We were about to land.

We couldn't see the ground until we were very close to the runway because of all of the snow clouds. Down Down Down. We couldn't have been much more than a hundred feet off the ground ready to land when I see the wings rapidly straighten and the engines roared intensely. We were going back into the air. Oh shizer.

This was the first time that I've been in a plane where the pilot missed the runway. Oops. A flight attendant came over the intercom and announced the miss-approach, saying that it was a very common thing. Yeah right. Five minutes later the pilot came over the intercom apologizing and saying that "a cloud got in the way."

By this time about 3 babies were wailing at the top of their lungs and a LOT of Italians were talking real loud with their hands. The pilot said we would try again. "Flight attendants prepare for landing." Down down down. Now I could see the runway coming. I held the seat in front of me, somehow knowing it would be a rough landing. I just had this feeling that no matter what, the pilot was going to try to land and not back out of this descent because of self-pride. We touched down going VERY fast and everyone started to clap. I didn't because I knew the landing wasn't over. The plane took an exceedingly long time to finally stop once we hit the ground. (I think so that we didn't slip on the snow). It wasn't until after touchdown that we realized how much it was really snowing. I turned and looked at the girl sitting next to us as she wiped away tears in her eyes. Wow. She was legit crying. People were really scared.

As I was about the exit the plane the pilot stepped out of the cabin. He paused after stepping out and looked at the flight attendants. This is the part that blows my mind. He displayed a sly Scottish smile to the flight attendants, and then mumbled some words to them. I couldn't hear exactly what he said, but it was something to the effect of "oops."

I couldn't help but smile as I walked down the steps onto the runway. I was in Italy! And there was snow on the ground. Lots of it. My friends' father picked us up in his black Honda and we navigated through the city of Treviso. Although there was snow on the ground, it still looked pretty beautiful with lots of greenage and hills. We arrived at a really nice house where you have to put a code into a keyboard in order for the gate to open to let you in the driveway. For dinner we had some authentic passata di fagioli and salad. It tasted so good following that adventure. After dinner I got introduced to my bed for the week and to a bathroom with a bday (not really sure how to spell bday, but it's the thing that you stand over that shoots water up your butt to clean it) (no it doesn't replace an enima) (yes, they did find some in Sadam Husseins palaces when they raided them).

I'm looking forward to an adventurous week in southern Europe (ç:

Okay, so here's the story...

2009-12-04T15:04:00.002-05:00

Think of the phenomenon that occurs when you are sweating. Why do you sweat? Usually it’s because your body is attempting to cool down. We are constantly sweating, some people more than others, in an attempt to reach ideal bodily conditions. But how do we get to the point where our bodies decide to trigger the mechanism that allows us to cool down? Is there a climax in this situation where our bodies just say, “screw this” and stop sweating? Perhaps that climax is passing out or death.

I suppose it’s good to sweat, but not too much. After all, who doesn’t enjoy a good sweat every now and then? I hate to quote the “I’ll take money to endorse anything that exists on this planet” celebrity Mario Lopez, but he recommends that everyone break a sweat every day. And I think that’s a good thing to recommend. Sweating is sort of a way to flush your body out. In with the old, out with the new. Yesterday I went to the gym and I sweated. A lot. I loved it. Tonight I’ll go to the gym also. I plan on sweating like crazy. Feeling the beads of sweat roll down my body is most excellent.

Life can be looked at in the form of intervals between sweats. Ups, downs, purgatories, you name it, there is a low point that moves to a high point and then back to the low point to start all over again. Everybody gets to those high points and low points in different ways, different time intervals, and with varied amounts of recovery emotions. Just like sweat. I feel different things every time I sweat. I even get my body to sweat in various ways: by exercising, eating spicy foods, chilling in warm weather or a sauna, and by getting nervous in various situations.

I arrived to the Netherlands on August 21^st, 2009, and my life has since been through many cycles. This is a weird, yet most excellent country and there are so many similarities and so many differences from what I’m used to back home in the northeastern United States. Yeah, of course there are times when I decide to curl up into a little ball (about the size of the allowed piece of luggage on a Delta flight)(Not to be confused with a Ryan Air flight, where if you have size 10 shoes or bigger you are guaranteed to have a most uncomfortable ride)(but it was cheap)(and Ryan Air sells a calendar with its flight attendants in bikinis)(what other airline does that?)(Weird Brits) and close my eyes to reveal the inside of my bedroom back home. I am able to walk to my bed and sit on it. Then my cats come in the room and jump up on the bed. I love my cats. Whenever I’m sick, they know it and then they do their best to purr the sickness out of me. While I’m in my room I look around and see what the bookshelves, desk, and posters have to offer. OH – look what I have hanging there – it’s Jefferson Starship’s “Gold” album. “I love that album,” I think to myself, “although, if I loved it that much, why do I keep it caged in that picture frame for all eternity?” Then my eyes move to my bookcase, where the book “Sex, the Whole Picture” is sitting next to my collection of Neil Simon plays. Now you may think I’m a pervert for having that book, but I was never meant to keep it, I swear. I threw it in as a gag during a “Secret Santa” event (or maybe it was some type of Hannukah event)(Oh yes, that’s right, we opened presents after playing ‘Pin the Yamulkah on Channukah Harry’)(Now it all makes sense) and the person opened it, everyone laughed as planned, and then low and behold I am the one stuck with the book in the end. But not to worry, that book has gotten some very good use. One time, my extended family came to town to see a show that my brother was in and my Grandma felt sick so she decided to stay at my house during the show to pass the time. I left her that book to remind her of her younger years. I heard she quite enjoyed it, actually.

After reeling through some memories of “Sex, the Whole Picture,” I decide to close my eyes as my head rests on my leopard print sheets. It’s still a mystery why I continue to sleep on those sheets, being an animal rights activist and all. I suddenly hear a noise and open my eyes quickly.

Oh. Oh yeah. I’m back in the Netherlands. What night is tonight? Oh. Oh right. It’s Tuesday; time to go to the dumpiest club in town to dance the night away. “Just make sure you don’t get too drunk,” my hands say to me, reminding me of falling of my bike that one time, leaving me with red palms for a week. Oh wait. It’s not really Tuesday? It’s Sunday? My, how I get my days confused here! How unproductive am I when I can’t remember that it’s not party day? Oh well – better go get some dinner from the miniature rooms they call grocery stores (Don’t forget to bring your own bags). I start walking out the door when one of my fantastic housemates reminds me that it’s Sunday. Oops. NOTHING in the Netherlands is open on Sundays (except a few legs in the Red Light District). I guess I’m having pasta again. Perhaps I’ll plan out my next trip now.

Unfortunately I haven’t kept up with this blog on a consistent basis. I know – it’s been a long while. The plans were to write daily or bi-daily, it didn’t really matter – as long as the writing was consistent. But I could have never predicted the way I felt when I got here, or the few weeks or months after. The chemicals in my brain(s) were going crazy and couldn’t decide what they wanted to do or how they wanted to make me feel. So now is my attempt to catch up on my writing life. This experience has been unreal and it should be documented (although there are some things that I really shouldn’t write about). My head will never be completely clear or my mind completely sane, but I plan to be competent with my writing.

This post has outlined a few topics that I plan to cover in the future. Some of those topics include:

· My departure from the US and Arrival to the Netherlands

· “High” points

· Spicy foods, and how my diet has changed.

· Points of depression

· Points of non-depression

· The spelling of the word Hanuka

· Being sick

· Love for my family

· The LG, and many nights of partying

· My housemates

· Bikes

· Supermarkets

· Classes

· Trips

· General thoughts on the human brain

There are many more topics than this that I can and will cover. I am in the Netherlands until June 2009, so I have time.

Farewell for now, and I hope to receive some Fig Newtons from you in the mail (the original fat-free ones)(please).

A thought for the day

2009-09-27T07:03:00.001-04:00

Disturbing dreams can truly break one's sense of highness and happiness.

What's goin on?

2009-06-12T20:08:00.003-04:00

Soo, a little autobiography of the past month of my life. Not that you want to know or need to know or care to know.
I quit my job at the school system to have more 'me' time and more time to do auditions in hopes that I'll be booking more gigs in the entertainment world. I do miss the kids that I was working with. Sometimes I have weird dreams about yelling at them because they won't shut up or something but for the most part I had the opportunity to work with some really awesome children.

So the question is - has anything happened since I quit that job. Well yes and no. I'm holding off on joining SAG because 1.) it's a ton of money and 2.) it's probably smarter to hold off on joining until I have a real role in something good. My time will/maybe/should/hopefully come for the right day to join, but for now I'll be union-free, or non-union as the huffy-puffs like to call it.

I'm being sent out by two agents on stuff - one for theatrical and one for modeling. But most of the gigs I'm getting are through self-submissions, which is fine. So many people think that once they have an agent they need to stop self-producing and self-searching for work and let the agent do everything for them...WRONG. I think you need to work double-hard so that the agent knows that you are super-commited and working and getting stuff and they will be more inclined to submit and send you out.

Anyway, a few months back I shot a little NYU short which was fun. Haven't gotten a copy yet as it isn't done being edited. I've been having a number of auditions weekly. Many are for shorts. Today and tomorrow I'm shooting a short. Then next weekend for two days I'm shooting one also. I also booked one that is planned to shoot in late July which I am very excited about. I had/have 3 auditions this week(just got back from one that went well - we'll see what happens) along with filming.
I'm doing so many shorts for a number of reasons:
1)because I can
2)because they're fun
3)I like doing them
4)Good food(mostly)
5)experience
6)To get a reel together. A lot of times people wouldn't be able to get auditions for certain things without a reel that the casting director can see a sample of your work through.

Yeah sometimes it's a pain to commute to NYC and stay with people and do pro-bono work, but I figure that the more I put into something, the more it will pay off. And I'm having fun, so I can't really complain. I'm just very lucky that I have such a support system and good friends and family that help me when I need help.

Everything is about all set for going to the Netherlands in August. Everything except for my mindset - which I'll get over and adapt to I suppose. Hmm..."what will be the hardest part about leaving for the Netherlands?" people ask. I say "missing my cats."

Hmm

2009-06-11T00:21:00.000-04:00

I apologize for my last post, sometimes I get bad road rage. I'm looking forward to seeing what "bike rage" is like in the Netherlands.

THANK YOU DPZ-8817

2009-06-11T00:12:00.006-04:00

Thank you New York license plate DPZ-8817 for parking so unnecessarily close to me at the train station today. I really enjoyed climbing through the passenger side door of my crammed car.

YOU ARE THE BEST PARKER IN THE WORLD!! I BET YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE BIG NUTS NOW DON'T YOU CHODE?

Don't forget to flick this booty-wipe off next time you see him.

The real Southpark kids

2009-05-11T11:36:00.001-04:00

Dutchland here I come

2009-05-09T00:40:00.003-04:00

I arrive in Amsterdam on August 20th, 2009. It's pretty much official - I just have to prostitute myself a few times more so that I have the exact amount needed for airfare. Can you find Tilburg on the map?

Thought for the day

2009-05-02T10:54:00.000-04:00

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did in his sleep - not screaming like the passengers in his car.

Amazing short film

2009-04-17T21:17:00.002-04:00

Check out this amazing short film I found inspired by the Dark Knight

Best Craigslist Post EVER

2009-03-22T19:33:00.000-04:00

Now casting Music Video for “I Wanna Be Your Thong” (Lower East Side)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: epilepticarson@gmail.com [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-03-22, 2:36PM EDT

Epileptic/Arson Productions is now casting actors and actresses for a music video called: “I Wanna Be Your Thong” by the illest up and coming rap artist: “Ghetto Blood Drinka”.

The premise of the video is a fictitious porno film shoot called “Inter-racial Creamfest Orgie 5”. A line of 30-40 of the dopest bitches and hoes are waiting to give oral pleasure to “GBD” in order to get cast in the film when all of a sudden the dopest of the dope, flyest, sweet-ass she-honey appears on her knees before “GBD” causing him to break into song and perform his new single called “I Wanna Be Your Thong”.

We need the best looking bitches and g’s the streets have to offer. You must be willing to T-bag and bottom from the top and dance experience is a plus. Free food and crunk juice will be supplied for the video shoot in Queens at the end of April.
Send your head and body shots to epilepticarson@gmail.com.

For more info on other Epileptic/Arson productions please visit: COPBAR.TV

Compensation: open
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Link: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/tfr/1086769102.html

Tracy Chapman

2009-03-16T21:56:00.000-04:00

Sweet Demetri Martin

2009-03-11T23:59:00.001-04:00

...CAN YOU SEE ME?

Important Things with Demetri MartinWed 10:30pm / 9:30c

Safety - Health Class 1231 A.D.

Joke of the Day
Stand-Up Comedy

Free Online Games
More Funny Videos

Emma Watson Love

2009-03-05T09:55:00.000-05:00

Placed!

2009-03-05T09:43:00.003-05:00

I found out this week that I was "placed" at Tilburg University in the Netherlands for my study abroad. All that I'm waiting on now is for the university to "confirm" my placement.

This was my #1 choice so I'm happy with it. Now I just need a plane ticket and a bicycle.

Poopy Time

2009-02-28T14:28:00.002-05:00

Opening this weekend

2009-02-25T13:55:00.002-05:00

Veronica's Room, the show I'm in, is opening this weekend. Here's the Newstimes link:

http://www.newstimes.com/theater/ci_11756408

Ticket prices are $5-10.

Hope you come!

Spiderman on Broadway

2009-02-24T14:16:00.002-05:00

It seems as though some people are braving the recession and still depositing ridiculous amounts of money into not-so-smart territories. Introducing...Spiderman the Musical: Turn off the Dark.

There are so many questions regarding this show. Does "turn off the dark" mean that the show is taking place in Alaska? If so, does that mean that Sarah Palin might consider playing Mary Jane?

Also, the budget is reported $40-50 million. WOW. What the hell. Is spidey going to ride a giant spider on stage for curtain call like David Hyde Pierce did with a horse in Curtains?

So even if this is a hit and all - how is it ever going to make money? It would need to run for a LONG LONG TIME to make back the investment. Like 10-20 years. It's also going to play the Hilton (no surprise there) which very few shows have made their money back (Pirate Queen, Hot Feet, Young Frankenstein, etc).

So I say good luck to the producers and everyone involved in bringing this monster to the big apple. Let's hope it doesn't get ripped apart and require a bailout.

Sketchy Sign

2009-02-16T22:33:00.002-05:00

Here's a really sketchy sign that was on 6th Street in Austin ... Why not just come out and say the words "sex for rent" -- "Gasolina para dormotorio" ?

Hello Texas!

2009-02-10T09:38:00.003-05:00

I'm heading off to Austin, Texas tomorrow for some fun times and warm weather. Don't miss me too much. Sometimes it's nice to just get away and relax - so that's exactly what I'm doing (:

Exit Out of Service

2009-02-05T14:33:00.002-05:00

I came across this yesterday and thought it was funny...

Nightlife in Danbury, CT

2009-02-03T17:03:00.002-05:00

I had to pause and do a "double-take" when I read the subject of this article. To my surprise, the words "nightlife" and "Danbury" were in the same sentence. Since moving to Danbury
over ten years ago, I have yet to find such a night-life. The most popular after-school hangout was the local Citgo gas station, and if you do decide to go to a club beware of inadequate parking, over-inflated entrance fees, and lack of spoken English.

CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST OF THE ARTICLE

Numbers

2009-02-03T11:58:00.003-05:00

Since I'm taking a Statistics class, I figure that I should get more in tune with my numerical side and post some number-related info here. This section will be called...you guessed..."Numbers"

Seventy percent of black children in the U.S. are born to single mothers.

-The New York Times

Banned Superbowl Commercial

2009-02-02T12:03:00.002-05:00

This is a commercial by AshleyMadison.com that was banned in most states during the Superbowl. Ashley Madison is an online dating service for married people wishing to cheat on their other half. I suppose the idea of this site is morally wrong yet I accept it because it may be the only thing that brings some people happiness if they are being treated poorly in a relationship that is hard to get out of.

That brings us to the other morality question; who is to judge what types of commercials are to be played on the television? Well the answer is the stations, of course - but do you want the stations to judge content for you, or do you want to judge things for yourself?

As we seem to be peeling back the layers on the socialism onion, this is just one more thing that goes along with restrictions and limits imposed by Big Brother. Soon we won't be making any decisions for ourselves.

Oversized Box Syndrome

2009-01-31T12:58:00.004-05:00

So I bought a wire from Wal-Mart.com for my computer. I have to admit that I love buying stuff from Wal-Mart because I save a LOT of money. I probably saved $10-15 on that wire over other places. Anyway the pros of this purchase were that I saved mulah AND...got the thing the NEXT FREAKING DAY. Nice.

But look at this ridiculous box they sent the wire to me in. It could have easily have been sent in an envelope. So I now have a new kitty litter box for the cats.

Small things come in big packages...or something like that.

Economic Stimulus

2009-01-30T11:03:00.004-05:00

Below I posted the highlights of the economic stimulus bill that recently passed the house. It annoys me that everyone seems to have an opinion on this but all they heard about it is from the media on TV. Have any of you actually read the bill? No you haven't, because nobody I know reads a government document that's over 1,000 pages long. I've looked it over, but there's no way I'm going to leisurely read the thing.

It's not a law yet people! And hopefully it won't be. Isn't it amazing how not a single Republican voted on it? Partisanship at its finest!

A few of my problems with the bill:

$1.5 Billion for community health centers - What neighborhood in Chicago is over a billion dollars going to go to?
$335 million for programs that combat AIDS, sexually transmitted diseases and tuberculosis - Why does it cost over $300 million to tell people that their balls are achy? Where is this money going to go to? And WHO THE HELL HAS TUBERCULOSIS NOWADAYS?
$10 billion in rail and mass transit projects. - WHERE? Where are they going to expand the rails? And why is the government going to be in charge of this? This used to be private-business stuff. Also, how much of that $10 billion is going to go toward the NAFTA Superhighway that benefit just Mexico and Canada?
$850 million to prevent forest fires. - Seriously, what is anyone going to do to prevent forest fires? That's not a problem that money can solve...especially a whopping $850 million.
Provide a $2,500 tax credit for college tuition and related expenses for 2009 and 2010, at a cost of $10.3 billion. The credit is phased out for couples making more than $160,000. - Perhaps they should put more money and resources into the college sector. $2,500 does not cover ANYTHING in regard to college expenses nowadays.
Provide an infusion of cash into money-losing companies by allowing them to claim tax credits on past profits dating back five years instead of two, at a cost of $15 billion.- BAILOUT - Soon enough the government is going to have some kind of ownership in all businesses.

SPENDING

Aid to the poor and unemployed — $43 billion to provide extended unemployment benefits through Dec. 31, increase them by $25 a week and provide job training; $20 billion to increase food stamp benefits by 13 percent; $4 billion to provide a one-time additional Supplemental Security Income payment; $2.5 billion in temporary welfare payments; $1 billion for home heating subsidies; and $1 billion for community action agencies.

Health care — $40 billion to subsidize health care insurance for the unemployed under the COBRA program or provide health care through Medicaid; $87 billion to help states with Medicaid; $20 billion to modernize health information technology systems; $4 billion for preventative care; $1.5 billion for community health centers; $420 million to combat avian flu; $335 million for programs that combat AIDS, sexually transmitted diseases and tuberculosis.

Infrastructure — $43 billion for transportation projects, including $30 billion for highway and bridge construction and repair and $6 billion to buy transit equipment like buses; $31 billion to build and repair federal buildings and other public infrastructure; $19 billion in water projects; $10 billion in rail and mass transit projects.

Education — $41 billion in grants to local school districts; $79 billion in state fiscal relief to prevent cuts in state aid; $21 billion for school modernization; $16 billion to boost the maximum Pell Grant by $500 to $5,350; $2 billion for Head Start.

Energy — $32 billion to fund a so-called "smart electricity grid" to reduce waste; $20 billion-plus in renewable energy tax cuts and a tax credit for research and development on energy conservation, energy efficiency and renewable energy, and a multiyear extension of the renewable energy production tax credit for wind, hydropower, geothermal and bioenergy; $6 billion to weatherize modest-income homes.

Science and technology — $10 billion for science facilities; $6 billion to bring high-speed Internet access to rural and underserved areas; $1 billion for the 2010 Census.

Housing — $13 billion to repair and make more energy-efficient public housing projects, allow communities to buy and repair foreclosed homes, and help the homeless.

Environment — $3.2 billion to clean up Superfund and waste sites, leaking underground storage tanks, nuclear sites and military bases, as well as $400 million for habitat restoration projects and $850 million to prevent forest fires.

Law enforcement — $4 billion in grants to state and local law enforcement to hire officers and purchase equipment.

TAXES

Individuals

— $500 per-worker, $1,000 per-couple tax cut for two years, costing about $145 billion. Workers could expect to see about $20 a week less withheld from their paychecks starting in June. Millions of Americans who don't make enough money to pay federal income taxes could file returns next year and receive checks.

— Greater access to the $1,000 per-child tax credit for the working poor in 2009 and 2010, at a cost of $18.3 billion. Under current law, workers must make at least $8,500 to receive the credit. The change eliminates the floor, meaning more workers who pay no federal income taxes could receive checks.

— Increase the earned-income tax credit — which provides money to the working poor — for families with at least three children, at a cost of $4.7 billion.

—Provide a $2,500 tax credit for college tuition and related expenses for 2009 and 2010, at a cost of $10.3 billion. The credit is phased out for couples making more than $160,000.

— Repeal a requirement that a $7,500 first-time homebuyer tax credit be paid back over time for homes purchased from Jan. 1 to July 1, unless the home is sold within three years, at a cost of $2.6 billion. The credit is phased out for couples making more than $150,000.

Businesses

— Extend a provision allowing businesses buying equipment such as computers to speed up the depreciation of that equipment through 2009, at a cost of $5 billion.

— Provide an infusion of cash into money-losing companies by allowing them to claim tax credits on past profits dating back five years instead of two, at a cost of $15 billion.

— Repeal a Treasury provision that allowed firms that buy money-losing banks to use more of the losses as tax credits to offset the profits of the merged banks for tax purposes. The change would increase taxes on the merged banks by $7 billion over 10 years.

— Subsidize locally issued bonds for school construction, teacher training, economic development and infrastructure improvements, at a cost of $35.5 billion.

— Extend tax credits for renewable energy production, at a cost of $13 billion.

— Extend and increase tax credits to homeowners who make their homes more energy efficient, at a cost of $4.3 billion. Homeowners could receive tax credits of up to $1,500 for upgrading furnaces and hot water heaters and making other improvements through 2010.

The United States is now the poorest country in the world. I would personally like to thank China for lending us this money and cleaning up our puke.

Highlights of Stimulus Package

Application Complete

2009-01-28T11:07:00.005-05:00

Yesterday I turned in all of the paperwork, essays, and school choices for the study abroad program. There were three main sites that I applied for:

Tilburg University - Netherlands

Leiden University - Netherlands

University of Ulster, Coleraine Campus - Ireland

Hopefully I'll get accepted somewhere, but I won't know where until about 2-3 months. The waiting game begins...

Hello COLLEGE

2009-01-26T11:55:00.002-05:00

Well it's 'welcome back to school' day for me today. Wish me luck. 7 Classes, one part-time job, performer in a play, blogger: priceless.

Today I am off to:

Managerial Writing
Finance
Exploring the Film

a brief look at the tube

2009-01-23T11:17:00.001-05:00

Here's a new one from the Onion News Network. Apparently since there hasn't been a horrible school shooting for a while, it's okay to make these awful situations humorous.

This is still hilarious to me though...

Police Say School Shooter Had Troubled Past, History Of School Shootings

Welcome to winter

2009-01-23T11:13:00.002-05:00

Hola winter! Where chapped hands are king and the scarf takes the place of red necks as the status symbol of choice. I often think to myself, "why do I choose to live in the northeast, where it is literally painful and discomforting to even walk outside?" My answer, "I'm moving."

Not yet, but soon enough. So in a quest to get out of Connecticut, I'll probably end up in Netherlands, where it is as hot as Afrika(Africa) and ligers take the place of space heaters. I plan on turning in my foreign exchange application today to the study abroad coordinator.

Stay tuned...

a brief look at the tube

2009-01-22T09:00:00.002-05:00

Here's the next American Idol. I couldn't help but put this awesome rendition of the 'I may be crazy' song up. It's way better than the original.

Don't eat Peanut Butter!

2009-01-21T23:08:00.001-05:00

The FDA has suggested that Americans postpone the eating of foods with peanut butter. Something about salmanila in them. This is, of course, unless you personally know the person who grew the nuts.

The majority of schools have ousted peanut butter from their menus.

With this news, I took the opportunity to raid the fridge and cabinet and get a good taste of these nuts. Does anyone else happen to like the extra crunchy kind?

You also shouldn't eat lead-infected Barbies from China.

a brief look at the tube

2009-01-21T12:32:00.001-05:00

Here's a commercial I found a long long time ago that I love.
Enjoy (:

Quote for Inaguration Day

2009-01-20T20:14:00.002-05:00

No great feat of imagination is needed to see how the whole project could end in tears. The stimulus fails. Things continue to fall apart. A new Great Depression ensues. And Obama is blamed and soon enough finds himself out on the speaking circuit with pal (ahem) Bill Clinton. Yet the astonishing thing about this moment is that virtually no one is yearning for that outcome. Perhaps it's because the exogenous circumstances are so dire, but the desire to see Obama succeed is broad and deep among citizens of all persuasions. After the past two decades of politics as total war, what a blessed and glorious relief. A president almost everyone is rooting for? That may be the newest thing of all."

John Heilemann in New York Magazine.

About ThePanz.com

2009-01-20T09:50:00.006-05:00

This site - ThePanz.com - is a little blog started by me, BPANZ, as a brief entertainment commentary to everyday life. You'll see anything from video clips, pictures, and articles I've written. The subjects of the content are very general, and can range from anything about peanut butter to tampons.

I invite you to comment on things that you like and don't like, and contact me about anything you wish. Send me pics, videos, articles, quotes, whatever! There's also a DIGG button on each page, so DIGG it if you dig it!

Also, don't be afraid to support the sponsors on the sidebar ----------------->

American Idol

2009-01-19T22:52:00.003-05:00

As this season's American Idol rolls around, I promise to put up just ONE post about it - this one.

It's never too late to rehash old memories and keep the clock running on William Hung's 15 minutes of fame. After all, the dude did end up earning over a million dollars from his album sales and he has appeared on multiple TV shows. He's got his SAG card and can probably appear in more cameo's than you.

Here lay the questions:

Are YOU more successful than Mr. Hung?
Did he eat all of his money?

RIP Circuit City

2009-01-16T13:03:00.002-05:00

Circuit City announced today that ALL of their stores will be liquidated. Yes, even the one near you. For those of you that don't know, this means that they will all close. This means that if you have a gift card, you need to spend it....RIGHT NOW.

More than 30,000 people will likely be out of work because of this. Would anyone like to start a job-seekers website with me? Does my video camera's warranty still apply?

This is pretty sad news. It seems as though America is shrinking for some reason. If everyone is out of work, then nobody can buy things, then nobody needs to work. THEN we turn into more of a socialist nation and become the next Soviet Union and here comes world war 3...
Thanks Barrack!!!

See you in the Netherlands!

Disgusting shoe of the day

2009-01-14T10:17:00.002-05:00

6pm.com is having a sale this "Type Z - 940" shoe. It was originally $160.00!!

It is now only $48.71

Maybe it won't sell because it's disgusting.
I think it says in the description that each shoe is individually puked on. (This may have been why they were so expensive in the first place)

Click here to buy.

Cast!

2009-01-13T09:05:00.003-05:00

Just a little update:

I got cast in a show called Veronica's Room. It's being put on by the Brewster Theatre Company. I play the role of the "Young Man." This isn't really for kids - it's a fun little thriller.

Brief synopsis:

The elderly couple was so amazed that Susan looked like the long dead Veronica. When they ask her to come home and pretend to be Veronica to make a dying woman happy, it seemed like such a small thing to ask. But suddenly things aren’t going the way Susan expects and she suddenly remembers why her mother told her not to talk to strangers …

Veronica’s Room written by celebrated playwright Ira Levin is a totally absorbing spider’s web entwining fantasy and reality.

The show is being performed February 27-28 and March 6-7 at 8pm at the cerebral palsy headquarters in Brewster. Contact me for more info, or go to www.brewstertheatercompany.org.

Save the date.

How to stop global warming

2009-01-13T08:41:00.005-05:00

With these extremely frigid temperatures, it is obvious that global warming is upon us. Thanks to Al Gore's 10,000 square foot house, which uses 20 times the amount of energy as the average American home, the weather has dropped sharply and icycles are beginning to form on my eyebrows. Some school districts are contemplating closing due to the cold.

Maybe now people will listen to me when I say that they should move to Dubai, where global warming doesn't make things so cold.

Anyway, this awful warming process CAN be reversed - and here's how:

Separate white clothes from colored clothes in the wash
Use real Christmas Trees instead of fake ones (which add immensely to pollution)
Hula Hoop on a daily basis

a brief look at the tube

2009-01-11T21:30:00.001-05:00

This video displays some typical cultural misunderstandings that I an constantly running into.

Souja Boy is NOT original

2009-01-10T18:35:00.002-05:00

First of all, I wouldn't be calling him "Soulja Boy" as opposed to "Soldier Boy" if it wasn't for the degrading meaning of the word "Souja." A soldier fights for an army or nation, a "soulja" fights their neigbors and rapes their sisters and have something to do with gangs as they drop the soap in the bathroom.

Anyway, I'm in no position to translate this rediculous "Crank That" song, but I did some extensive research and found that he actually DID NOT even making the song up! It's an ancient tribal dance in Afrika!

Fixing Connecticut's Budget Gap

2009-01-09T08:40:00.003-05:00

The state of Connecticut is facing an estimated $150 million budget gap for 2009. A combination of stupidity, lack of revenue from oil prices, and other miscellaneous factors are contributing to this shortfall. It is one of 44 states facing this problem. I suppose debt and lack of money management skills is now the American dream.

Connecticut Governor Jodi Rell, a female, has setup a website where Connecticut residents can submit ideas to leverage the budget gap.

The website can be found by clicking here.

Submit your ideas if you have any. Below are mine in which I am submitting. Many of them you will see take after the state of California, who also has a great budget shortfall, but has the Terminator on its side working feverishly to balance the books.

My solutions:

1. Give all government workers an extra 2 days off EVERY month with no pay. They get to choose whatever two days they like.

2. Decriminalize marijuana. Too much time and too many resources are being put toward petty offenders. Too many people are in jail for low-level drug crimes. I would suggest Connecticut allows marijuana for medicinal purposes and collects tax on this.

3. Tax marijuana. Okay - so we know that the state won't completely decriminalize the drug, but they can offer "tax stamps." People can buy tax stamps online or at government buildings. These stamps are to be places on all bags of marijuana. If someone gets caught with a bag of pot that does not have a tax stamp on it, the fine/punishment will be more harsh than with the stamp.

4. Sell the corporate jet. I'm not really sure that they have one, and they probably don't - but it's just an idea.

5. Prisoner payback program. Released prisoners NEED to pay for their time in prison. There is no excuse why the tax-payers are footing the bill for all of these prisoners. They need to pay for their crime, and their time. This can be done through garnishing wages.

6. Better enforce online sales tax. So many websites do not add state sales tax - it's the law and it is hardly enforced.

7. Increase tax credits for incoming businesses. This is one of the number one ways to attract new commercial industries to the state, which will in turn increase tax revenue.

8. Increase tax credits for the movie industry. Connecticut has some great locations for shooting films, and more would shoot here with lower taxes.

9. Obesity tax. If your Body Mass Index is greater than 30, you need to pay a famine tax bi-yearly. This will also encourage people to lose weight and get in better shape.

10. Switch to a 4-day work week. The city of Danbury, CT did this and saves a few hundred thousand dollars on electrical expenses.

Please comment with your thoughts and ideas!

How to do a J Turn

2009-01-08T10:05:00.003-05:00

Everyone knows what a K Turn is, but have you ever heard of a J Turn? A J Turn is the infamous driving manouver you see in all of the action movies where the car accellerates in reverse and then quickly turns all the way around and continues to go forward. Sometimes called a "moonshiners turn," this is a technique that all secret service agents must learn in order to be elected to protect the president.

"How to" video is below:

Icestorm '09

2009-01-07T11:55:00.009-05:00

An icy storm is making its way through the northeast today, closing a countless number of schools and providing male shrinkage everywhere. I went out in my skivvies this morning and took a few shots. Above is one of our bushes that fell half-way over into our driveway.

Although they are usually happy/excited when the schools are closed, the kids that I work with are pretty dissapointed because they had JUST returned back to school from a two-week long Santafest.

a brief look at the tube

2009-01-05T11:46:00.002-05:00

I love British Humor

Fill up on gas...NOW

2009-01-05T09:31:00.002-05:00

OPEC's cutbacks on their barrels drilled per day is finally going to take effect in regard to prices today. Expect at least a 20 cent jump in prices, so fill up while you have the chance.

Deals of the Day

2009-01-05T09:23:00.002-05:00

Amazon's having a DVD blowout sale. I don't buy DVD's since I have Netflix, but for those of you that do, check this out.

Click Here for the Deals of the Day

a brief look at the tube

2009-01-05T09:02:00.000-05:00

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

Good Job Danbury

2009-01-05T08:50:00.001-05:00

Sarcastic praise goes out to the city of Danbury for not delaying school today. Everyone I know fell and hurt themselves and WLAD reported at least 7 people broke bones from falls. Roads were fine but parking lots and sidewalks suck. A lot.

In other good news, I'm trying to form two more blogs. One with reviews and news on iPhone Apps and the other I'm thinking would be a "good news" blog - with only good news. If anyone has any ideas or wants to write, let me know. I'll pay you in scooby snacks (:

A brief look at the tube

2009-01-01T20:27:00.003-05:00

A video from the most trusted name in news, the Onion News Network.

Do you remember life before the segway?

In The Know: Do You Remember Life Before The Segway?

Second Post of the Year

2009-01-01T12:06:00.004-05:00

Since this is the second post of the year, I figure it should be important - so here you go:

Say this out loud as fast as you can:

"I AM SOFA KING WE TODD DID"

It's just a little something I learned at Jewish camp a few years ago...

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T12:01:00.002-05:00

LAST new year, I didn't stay up. I fell asleep at about 9pm. Not because I wasn't excited for a new year(was 2008 something to be excited about?), but because I had just driven up the coast of California all day by way of an Indian Casino.

Anyway, this year I stayed up. After all, what's a party without alcohol, Rock Band, Rock Band 2, Stratego, girlfriends, ex-girlfriends, and pong?

After the ball dropped (the one in Time Square), everyone stood up and hugged each other, wishing - freaking hoping for a better year than last. 2009 will be better. It will be different. But remember that we make our own fates, and nobody but ourselves can change our lives and better ourselves.

So happy new year, and happy birthday America.

EXCHANGE UPDATE

2008-12-30T13:58:00.002-05:00

Well, not really an update. I started filling out the forms today(it's a start). I'm trying so hard to find a place I really want to go.

Australia and New Zealand are out of the question because of cost.

The program I'm going through is www.isep.org.

Here's my narrowed list(in no particular order):

Northern Ireland
Denmark
Finland
Netherlands
Sweden

Can someone help me???

Dinner

2008-12-30T12:39:00.002-05:00

These are Meishan piglets. The pig is a traditional German symbol for good luck at the start of a new year.

Cute flubbermuffins.

Source: BBCNews

Goodbye Hannukah

2008-12-29T15:47:00.002-05:00

Chanukah ended last night - such a sad event. My family did set a record this year:

1 Hanukkah Party
4 Nights of lighting the candles

Next year we'll aim for 2 parties and a few more nights of lighting the candles.

Our biggest concern for lighting the candles was that we were worried the Menorah would light the Christmas Tree on fire with its open flame.

Happy Christmas!

2008-12-25T10:56:00.002-05:00

Have a great holiday! And hold off committing all crimes until tomorrow.

YOU HAVE TO DO THIS!

2008-12-24T11:24:00.005-05:00

You must (it's just not an option) go to http://www.HulaHoops.com. You will be busy for about five quality minutes playing with all them hoops!

I don't think there is a point to the site, but it's probably a very valuable domain name.

And, as always, if you want to see the hooping website I'm building, click here.

This post is a shoutout to CHWoops!

Food Inspection

2008-12-24T11:22:00.001-05:00

Hilton Garden Inn – 78
119 Mill Plain Road
*Potentially hazardous foods did not meet temperature requirements; *Improper/inadequate hand washing by food worker; steam table not maintaining items at adequate hot holding temperature; food not protected; poor hygienic practice; inadequate sanitizer concentration; presence of flies. REINSPECTION REQUIRED.

...I'm just saying...

Source: Newstimes

Bob's Stores/Linen's & Things Suck

2008-12-22T16:30:00.004-05:00

I had a good coupon to Bob's Stores today so I went there to maybe find either a gift or something for myself. After going through almost every rack of clothes I couldn't find one thing that I would wear or give as a gift. I walked out of the store confused. I wasn't sure if the store just sucked or if it is not my style. I did, however, see a lot of old ladies buying young mens clothes - which were probably for their grandson's that will open the gift, smile, say "Thanks granny panny" and then never wear the clothes. Ever.

From my adventure at Bob's I went to Linen's and Things. It's going out of business so I though I might be able to find a decent deal. It sucked even worse. I should have prefixed this store by mentioning that I have never purchase anything at Linen's & Things. I have walked in the store multiple times and walked out because nothing appealed to me. Kind of like Bob's. I'm not surprised this awful appliance store is hitting the hay and I think Bob's needs to change some things or else it's in for a Chapter 11 also.

Does anyone else have bad experiences with these stores?

Daily mugshot

2008-12-21T19:10:00.001-05:00

I was doing this program called Daily Mugshot for a while where you take a picture if yourself everyday and upload them to a slideshow type thing where other people can see what you look like everyday.

I thought it was pretty cool for a while until I looked at all the other people who participate in the program and realized that it is a total sausage-fest of a program. I'm not sure If I saw one girl doing a daily mug.

I think it ultimately turns out to be a self-esteem thing.... You know.. taking pics of yourself everyday.

What do you think?

Lost in translation

2008-12-20T22:53:00.001-05:00

Roxie in a dress

2008-12-20T21:45:00.001-05:00

Sorry for so many animal pictures - I'm posting this blogpost from my iPhone to test out a new app.

Enjoy the pic!

Our cat is gay - Part 2

2008-12-20T19:44:00.004-05:00

Did you ever wonder who buys all of those animal clothes at the pet store? It's my family.

Insane traffic at mall

2008-12-20T17:37:00.002-05:00

I'm posting this while sitting in rediculous traffic in the mall parking lot. We literally have not moved for over 30 minutes. What the hell.

Sales were okay - but mall is super packed because of the storms yesterday and tomorrow.

I'm lucky my shotgun is in the trunk at this point.

Do I regret coming here? Never regret anything.

3:40pm

2008-12-19T15:48:00.002-05:00

Up to 4"

2:40pm

2008-12-19T14:48:00.003-05:00

...Tire Tracks...

1:40pm

2008-12-19T13:40:00.001-05:00

Snow Snow Snow

1:00pm

2008-12-19T13:02:00.002-05:00

Just about a full inch so far.

12:30

2008-12-19T12:35:00.002-05:00

Storm started at 12:10

12:15

2008-12-19T12:16:00.002-05:00

It's been snowing for about 5 minutes now.

It's gonna be a whopper!

2008-12-19T12:01:00.002-05:00

This is cool. It's cool because instead of the usual 'waking up to snow,' we have front row seats to the show.

Here's a map of...something.

Awaiting a storm...

2008-12-19T09:20:00.002-05:00

All the schools were cancelled today and we're awaiting 6-12" of heavy snow. I'm not sure if I agree with mother nature on this decision.

I work at a school in the morning from 7-8:30 watching kids, and they were all excited because the entire school was going to go on a field trip today to see the movie "The tale of Despereaux." The entire school was reading the book and looking forward to today. But Big Mama had to mess it up.

This is a picture of my front lawn BEFORE the storm. I'll try to be posting pics throughout the day as more and more snow falls.

(:

2008-12-18T19:10:00.002-05:00

A Genuine Jewish Christmas

2008-12-18T18:56:00.002-05:00

PLEASE - I'm Jewish. But am I ??? Do I know any prayers? Do I know any songs???...besides Die Die Anoo?

Christmas is the bomb, but Hanukkah we get a present for 8 straight nights ... if the economy was better.

So I'm starting to question whether there are still Jewish people living on this Earth or did they all go back to that other planet..what's it called?...Jewville?

Anyway - this is our tree...it's about as straight as Oprah Winfrey and Tom Cruise. ------------>

Iraqi Journalist Throws Shoes at President Bush

2008-12-14T20:22:00.002-05:00

And Bush just kind of laughed it off.

Look at those fantastic reflexes!

Our cat is gay.

2008-12-14T19:21:00.002-05:00

For some odd and unexplainable reason, after we got Roxie, our cat 'Karate' turned gay.

Roxie is ours!

2008-12-14T18:07:00.003-05:00

After a 10 hour test run, we decided to keep Roxie, a four year old Beagle. Roxie is perfectly potty-trained and sleeps in her kennel without hesitation. I think she'll be a great addition to the family.

She starts Jenny Craig tomorrow.

Happy Sunday

2008-12-14T18:04:00.002-05:00

My Website Design class - the one that I made the hula hooping chick in - inspired me to redo a website for someone. From scratch. <- that means no website design programs and pure html coding. So that's what I've been spending the past 45,000 hours on.
Click on the links below to see the results:

Old Site

New Site

What do you think?

In class

2008-12-13T11:12:00.003-05:00

I'm in class right now - yup, I have a Saturday morning class. Website design. So I'm learning Html and Javascript; which is fun until you realize you've spent 4 hours working on making a cartoon girl hula hoop as someone waves the mouse over the picture. Now I know why programmers don't have any friends.

So you can check out my work on the right side of this page by moving your mouse over the hooping girl.... she's pretty hot right?

So as you can see I have learned at least one thing in college.

2x more Wii sold than Xbox 360

2008-12-12T09:37:00.000-05:00

Nintendo Wii has officially outsold Xbox 360 by a shite-load. In November alone, the Wii outsold the Xbox 360 with almost a 3 to 1 ratio.

Shipments for November:

Wii: 2.04 million units
Xbox 360: 836,000 units
Playstation 3: 378,000 units.

This just confirms what everyone already knows - Wii is the best thing to happen to video game systems in a long time. I can't go more than 3 days without a game of Wii bowling.

Anyone up for splitting a share of Nintendo stock???

Source: TechHerald

Free Tampons

2008-12-12T09:12:00.000-05:00

Stop your monthly flow of cash to the supermarket for your tampons and get one free from this site.

a brief look at the tube

2008-12-11T22:19:00.000-05:00

I enjoy watching Asian pranks because they do stuff that American's wouldn't even dare to do. The the amount of people there are living in Asia, they probably have a few committees committed to coming up with pranks to pull on others.

Don't be afraid to comment

2008-12-11T19:57:00.001-05:00

(-: I'm testing out this new application right now by posting this from my iPhone. If it works well I may buy the full version of the program for a whopping $2 million.

If you see some interesting on this site, don't be afraid to make a quick comment. You don't need an account to write something.

Also, if you find something worthy of posting, shoot me an e-mail - Lancerpanz@gmail.com

Thanks fur the support, and remember to only wear faux fur and not real fur.

BUY Obama's Car on Ebay

2008-12-11T09:05:00.000-05:00

Someone is listing Obama's Chrysler 300 Series car on Ebay with a starting price of $100,000. It looks as though a few tarts have already bid on the gas-guzzling road hog.

When Obama decided to run for president, he was advised to switch to a hybrid so that this issue wouldn't bite him in the ass. But we all know anyway that he's a gas waster.

Click here to see the auction.

a brief look at the tube

2008-12-10T18:40:00.000-05:00

An oldie but goodie Bush moment with him making remarks about a blind guy's glasses. (Bush didn't know that he was blind at the time, but I'm sure felt pretty bad after the fact.

Visually disabled people make me feel bad in general.. you know...because they can't see.

Great Gift Idea

2008-12-10T10:36:00.000-05:00

A fantastic gift idea that hasn't really received a lot of press is J.K Rowling's new book, The Tales of Beedle the Bard. This is probably a must-have for any Harry Potter reader.

The cheapest you're going to find online is from WalMart.com - $8.86 including shipping and tax.

a new addition to the family?

2008-12-10T10:11:00.000-05:00

So after a year of not having a dog, my family may soon be bringing Roxy into our home. Today is the "test run."

This four-hundred pound beast is a doll, which, like all dolls, is potty trained.

The 3 cats are pissed, but they'll get over it.

Should we keep her?

The Plan

2008-12-09T18:56:00.000-05:00

Money . Yeah it sucks – especially when you don’t have it. I’m currently attending a state university in Connecticut. It’s not that I wasn’t accepted into better schools than this local one, it’s that I don’t have enough money to attend another school. <-- that is a story for a whole other day.

Since I am living at home and commuting to this school, I’ve decided to treat myself by finally dorming…overseas. I don’t know where I’m going or what I’m going to do, but I plan on studying abroad.

A few places I am considering going:

· Netherlands

· Sweden

· South Africa

· New Zealand

· Spain

· Antarctica

Within this blog I plan on documenting my journey to another part of the world – from the planning to the actual trip.

a brief look at the TUBE

2008-12-09T14:31:00.000-05:00

it's interesting how fast an hour can go by when you're watching people faint on youtube.

(:

Baby Blog

2008-12-09T14:09:00.000-05:00

Woo hoo! Someone just created a new blog. Not that anybody cares or will read this on a frequent basis. But that someone is me.

That's me on the right----------------------------------------------->
as you can see i'm just a baby - so be nice.

Hopefully I'll be good with updating this page on an hourly, daily, or Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 monthly basis - so stay tuned.